A year ago today.....

A year ago today, forever changed my life. The fear, anxiety and pain that was involved melted away at 3:49am when you joined me here. All of those feelings were replaced with a warm comforting, intoxicating love that I never imagined I was capable of.

Eleven months ago today, forever changed my life. The sore nipples, aching shoulders and living in a hotel are secondary to the joy I get when you say, “AAAHHH” after you sneeze. I sit for hours and just hold you. No one is as lucky as me.

Ten months ago today, forever changed my life. Moving and unpacking boxes were never quite as fun as doing it with you. When tired and frustrated, sitting down with my girl brings everything back into perspective.

Nine months ago today, forever changed my life. You began to gain independence and rolled over once or twice. I felt a sense of loss as my little darling needed me less, but smiles started to come and they are the best.

Eight months ago today, forever changed my life. We met some new friends. You certainly are the smallest most delicate little one of the group. I really love that you my so lovey are so cuddly.

Seven months ago today, forever changed my life. We went to Avila beach as a family and just enjoyed you. You are the life of the party. The face you make when the sand touches your toes makes me smile.

Six months ago today, forever changed my life. You have decided that a swing is not any fun for you and you break free. You play with Hello bee, and you love to be free.

Five months ago today, forever changed my life. You swim and dunk and love the sun. You are the thinnest of all the girls.

Four months ago today, forever changed my life. I went back to work. And cried the entire way. In the future, I will be the one to comfort you, but now you are the one that comforts me. Your hugs and kisses are the best.

Three months ago today, forever changed my life. You are all over the place. Crawling like a mad lady and getting into things. I crawl around with you and just want a sliver of your enthusiasm and zest for life.

Two months ago today, forever changed my life. We really thought that something was wrong. My heart sinks thinking that you would have to ever suffer. You had an x ray, blood drawn, and many pokes and prod and you smile never left your face.

A month ago today, forever changed my life. You stand and clap. You sing and laugh. It is the most entertaining show in the world.

Today, forever changed my life. Everyday with you makes me strive to be a better person. I had no idea how I was going to do things once you made your debut, now, I have no idea how I survived with out you.
Happy birthday Gia!!!!

The Best Gift

A year ago today, forever changed my life. A year ago today, I felt happiness like never before. The moment they laid you in my arms I instantly fell in love. When I hold you tight, I relive that moment. It has now become a movie that I play over and over in my mind. The way you nuzzled so gently and grasped my finger so tight. The way your daddy looked at me and was so proud of you.

Your foot was the length of my thumb. Your fingers so thin and delicate. Your cheeks so plush, your eyes so eager. Who knew what you would be capable of!

Never in my life have I been so aware that I was right. I knew you weren’t as laid back as all of the nurses wanted me to believe. The moment they whisked you to the NICU my stomach hit the floor. The heat welled in my face and the lump from my throat was in my mouth. I wish that I had been stronger for you, but thankfully daddy was their to be the pillar of our family.

You were connected to so many wires and had so many procedures that it was difficult to hold you. But that couldn’t stop me. The nurses had to force me away so you could get your rest. And even then, the nurses had a special connection with you.

The light in your eyes and your sweet disposition were evident from the moment you arrived. To this day, everyone talks about how sweet you are and what a good baby you are. These are things that I know.

I don’t know what I did to be so lucky to be your mom. But I thank God everyday that I get to be a part of your life. Your eyes are a pathway to grace. You will never understand how much I love you and how full you have made my life. You will just have to take my word for it.
Gia, you are the light of my life. Here’s to you lovey. This day will be full of unlimited climbs on the dishwasher, clapping, crawling around with your shoes…..may your day be filled with everything you love and know, that November 18 is the day that God gave me the best gift…..YOU!

Milestones

Days that go by make you wonder….will her smile ever be so sweet? How long will that dancing eye be part of her minute by minute amazement? I find that many other parents anticipate future milestones. When will she know what the animals are at the zoo? When will she be able to walk? Say a word and really know what she’s saying?

The funny thing is that when Gia graduates from a stage (laying there like a burrito, toppling over while trying to sit, pulling and pulling but not being able to get her legs underneath her) a sense of loss comes over me. Nothing that doesn’t go away after seeing the next step, but at every phase I wonder how she could possibly be any more amazing.

So here’s to the only Halloween we will have without running behind you, the only pumpkin patch where you stay clean and here’s to every other memory we will make over the years. I love you my darling. You are a beacon of light in a very dark world. You bring me more happiness than I ever thought was possible. I love you.

Mommy~

Blessings in disguise....

As I have gone back to work, I have become a morning person. Not by choice, but out of desire. The burning desire I have to spend the afternoon with my little darling. So, the earlier I get to the office the earlier I get home. I tend to leave the house around 5:30am. For those of you that have known me for sometime, I am NOT a morning person. I repeat NOT A MORNING PERSON.

This morning Ralph is in Saint Louis on business. This leaves Gia and I together (lucky me ;). My alarm must have been set incorrectly, but Gia had a serious bout of gas…..at 5:00am. What are the chances!

So here’s to little blessings in disguise. As much as I would have loved to sleep in, I love my afternoons with my girl. Due to some gas, I am out of the house on time and will be home to take a walk and cozy up with my girl tonight!

Take time to count your blessings….

I forgot my wallet today. I feel very silly. I went to order Miss Kate’s birthday present and Miss G’s diaper rash cream online only to discover that my wallet is not in my purse. I am hoping that it fell out of my purse and is on the floor board of my car, but that is certainly not the way luck usually has it for me.

It has been quite a long time since I have lost blogged and I really wish that I had more inspiration to guide me today. Unfortunately, I am pretty tired and my throat is a bit scratchy. A few exciting things, Gia has a nubby little tooth. She walks around chewing on anything and everything she can get her mouth on. It melts my heart. Everything she does melts my heart. I adore her. Ralph went to the Raider game yesterday and we were lucky enough to have a girls day. When in the Baby Bjorn she reaches back to hug me. She is the best!

I will blog later with something more interesting. Have a great Monday!

PINXAV

Gia's diaper rash is not completely gone, but it is "considerably better"....thanks so much to this wonderful, amazing, product PINXAV (pronounced Pink Salve) that I was introduced to by a wonderful lady named McCall. (I would love to link you to her darling's blog, but I am not that savvy). But this stuff is a miracle worker. In one night it has cleared a rash that I have done absolutely EVERYTHING for!

Pediatrician stumped, Endocrinologist stumped, Gastroenterologist stumped....another mom....saves the day! For this, I send out a hearty thank you!

A side note, I did some research and apparently this diaper miracle also can work wonders for mommy's' skin everywhere! Do some googling and let me know if your not sold.....I will personally send you some!

Boo-boo's

I am not sure why, but from the minute Gia was born, Ralph began to call her Boo-boo. Oddly enough, this is the same term of endearment that my parents bestowed upon me when I was just a wee little one. This is a term that we use often and just fits our little darling. Unfortunately, my little Boo Boo has a boo boo.

For the past two months, Gia has had a very, very ANGRY diaper rash. Much to everyone's dismay, we can not make it heal. Four perscription diaper rash creams, sleeping naked for nights at a time, hair dryer galore after each diaper change. Nothing. It is still there as angry as ever. To make matters worse, it just causes her so much pain. Said differenlty, causes me much pain. It is true what they say, "It hurts me more than it hurts you".

To see this litlle perfect girl in so much pain breaks my heart. It literally makes me cry. I just want so badly to make her feel better. So, for all the mom's out there...do you have any suggestions? Old wives tails?

Just so you know, we've tried every diaper on the market (Pedi recoomends no fragrance, no bleach so nix Pampers, Huggies and Luvs), every diaper rash cream, every sitz bath that I am aware of. So PLEASE, PLEASE....I am calling all mom troopers. Ask your friends...any crazy remedies I am willing to try!

Thanks,
Gia's sad mommy that wants to make her feel better