Like moving to a new city in the middle of High School or going to college and not knowing a soul, starting work post partum is an anxiety causing situation. Nights laying awake. Heart pumping. Cold sweat on brow. Getting up and letting my tears fall into Gia's crib.
I have been in the fortunate position of always loving to work. Prior to Gia, some would say that it was what defined me. So when Ralph and I decided that me going back to work would make us a happier family, I was completely on board.
Find job. Do I start anew? Do I brave Los Angeles traffic and do what I love and where I thrive? Love and thrive. Two words, that when you find yourself completing them you should stick with whatever it is that evokes those adjetives. Luckily, I some great people at Clear Channel gave me a job.
Find babysitter. FOUND! A dear friend of mine, whom I admire and respect has agreed to watch Gia. I am so lucky because our child rearing views are so similar and she is an amazing soul. While I have no concerns about how Gia is being taken care of, it is I that I worry about. I miss her tremendously. Her smile. The way her eyes dance and her feet shuffle. That little army crawl. All of those things.
I had a fantastic first day. It was wonderful to return to the rat race so to speak, but the milk expression in the bathroom (I forgot my pump), the moments of heart ache when I was really missing Gia and the lack of caffeine really gave this day like no other first day of work I have ever had.
I am enjoying it, but it is certainly an adjustment. Kind of like the Da Vinci Code. It is taking me a few chapters to get into this book so please keep me in your thoughts that the time away from Gia gets easier and our time together is more precious!
Just take a moment and admire this face....
3 comments:
Congratulations on going back to work! Gia is a cutie! I'll be following along on your blog to see her grow up. Take care.
-wella
Allison, she is just beautiful! I see you in her sweet face. I hope the adjustment back to work is really smooth. Maybe you need a pump for work and one for home.
Oh my goodness!! I know how difficult it is to go back to work. I did it three times (complete with "pumping"). And although I'd like to tell you it got easier each time, the truth is I longed to be with my babies! I'm sure, looking back that it was the best decision for our family. However, that still doesn't minimize the seperation pains I experienced.
My kids are now 18, 16 and 15. And I face new parenting challenges daily. I don't think, however, there's anything quite as hard as that initial "back to work" seperation.
My prayer for you is that you find peace and balance for yourself (and Gia too). Hang in there kiddo! I've got your back in prayer.
From one "older" mom to one "younger" mom,
~Cheryl
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