Monday, November 26, 2007

Thank you!

Give thanks, give thanks, give thanks!

I can not explain to you how much I have to give thanks for this year. Tears well in my eyes as I let my mind wander back to our first Thanksgiving with Gia. In the hospital, having just completed a platelet transfusion. Doctors wondering if she would make it and what on earth was wrong.

Fast forward one year…..the most vibrant, petite, adorable little girl on the planet. That sings and claps and makes funny noises. Thanksgiving was spent with my adorable husband, loving parents and of course, God’s most precious girl, Gia.

The bird was amazing. Simply decadent. The dressing was just spicy enough, cream peas just right. This year we added roasted corn and mashed potatoes. I am beginning to understand that these are “traditional” Thanksgiving favorites. Growing up in the Zansler family however, they NEVER graced our table. They were a wonderful complement to our menu and really helped fuse the uniting of two families.

Having my parents here for nearly two weeks was such a God-send. I was able to rest more, have a cleaner home, and meals that are much better than I could have ever cooked….all thanks to them. Gia’s birthday party would not have been possible with out Meezer’s help and the Thanksgiving bird would never have been so plump and decadent.

The best part of the whole thing was that Ralph and I were able to get away for an overnight stay. Just in our backyard, but an evening at a hotel and dinner together (ALONE) was just what the marriage doctor ordered. We returned from our overnight jaunt refreshed and full of enthusiasm for our marriage.

Things I am Thankful for:
· The most amazing brown eyed girl that I am the luckiest to be her mommy.
· A fabulous, impeccably dressed, ambitious, loving husband.
· A mother to help guide and cry with me throughout my journey of life.
· A father that has instilled the ability to negotiate and stand tall and proud in my beliefs.
· Turkey, dressing and creamed peas.
· Advent.
· Papa’s orange peels and cinnamon sticks brewing on the stove leaving the house with the most delicious aroma.
· All of the good things that God has bestowed on me.
· My ever evolving education.
· Much, much, more!

Gobble, Gobble!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

A year ago today.....

A year ago today, forever changed my life. The fear, anxiety and pain that was involved melted away at 3:49am when you joined me here. All of those feelings were replaced with a warm comforting, intoxicating love that I never imagined I was capable of.

Eleven months ago today, forever changed my life. The sore nipples, aching shoulders and living in a hotel are secondary to the joy I get when you say, “AAAHHH” after you sneeze. I sit for hours and just hold you. No one is as lucky as me.

Ten months ago today, forever changed my life. Moving and unpacking boxes were never quite as fun as doing it with you. When tired and frustrated, sitting down with my girl brings everything back into perspective.

Nine months ago today, forever changed my life. You began to gain independence and rolled over once or twice. I felt a sense of loss as my little darling needed me less, but smiles started to come and they are the best.

Eight months ago today, forever changed my life. We met some new friends. You certainly are the smallest most delicate little one of the group. I really love that you my so lovey are so cuddly.

Seven months ago today, forever changed my life. We went to Avila beach as a family and just enjoyed you. You are the life of the party. The face you make when the sand touches your toes makes me smile.

Six months ago today, forever changed my life. You have decided that a swing is not any fun for you and you break free. You play with Hello bee, and you love to be free.

Five months ago today, forever changed my life. You swim and dunk and love the sun. You are the thinnest of all the girls.

Four months ago today, forever changed my life. I went back to work. And cried the entire way. In the future, I will be the one to comfort you, but now you are the one that comforts me. Your hugs and kisses are the best.

Three months ago today, forever changed my life. You are all over the place. Crawling like a mad lady and getting into things. I crawl around with you and just want a sliver of your enthusiasm and zest for life.

Two months ago today, forever changed my life. We really thought that something was wrong. My heart sinks thinking that you would have to ever suffer. You had an x ray, blood drawn, and many pokes and prod and you smile never left your face.

A month ago today, forever changed my life. You stand and clap. You sing and laugh. It is the most entertaining show in the world.

Today, forever changed my life. Everyday with you makes me strive to be a better person. I had no idea how I was going to do things once you made your debut, now, I have no idea how I survived with out you.
Happy birthday Gia!!!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

The Best Gift

A year ago today, forever changed my life. A year ago today, I felt happiness like never before. The moment they laid you in my arms I instantly fell in love. When I hold you tight, I relive that moment. It has now become a movie that I play over and over in my mind. The way you nuzzled so gently and grasped my finger so tight. The way your daddy looked at me and was so proud of you.

Your foot was the length of my thumb. Your fingers so thin and delicate. Your cheeks so plush, your eyes so eager. Who knew what you would be capable of!

Never in my life have I been so aware that I was right. I knew you weren’t as laid back as all of the nurses wanted me to believe. The moment they whisked you to the NICU my stomach hit the floor. The heat welled in my face and the lump from my throat was in my mouth. I wish that I had been stronger for you, but thankfully daddy was their to be the pillar of our family.

You were connected to so many wires and had so many procedures that it was difficult to hold you. But that couldn’t stop me. The nurses had to force me away so you could get your rest. And even then, the nurses had a special connection with you.

The light in your eyes and your sweet disposition were evident from the moment you arrived. To this day, everyone talks about how sweet you are and what a good baby you are. These are things that I know.

I don’t know what I did to be so lucky to be your mom. But I thank God everyday that I get to be a part of your life. Your eyes are a pathway to grace. You will never understand how much I love you and how full you have made my life. You will just have to take my word for it.
Gia, you are the light of my life. Here’s to you lovey. This day will be full of unlimited climbs on the dishwasher, clapping, crawling around with your shoes…..may your day be filled with everything you love and know, that November 18 is the day that God gave me the best gift…..YOU!

Friday, November 2, 2007


Days that go by make you wonder….will her smile ever be so sweet? How long will that dancing eye be part of her minute by minute amazement? I find that many other parents anticipate future milestones. When will she know what the animals are at the zoo? When will she be able to walk? Say a word and really know what she’s saying?

The funny thing is that when Gia graduates from a stage (laying there like a burrito, toppling over while trying to sit, pulling and pulling but not being able to get her legs underneath her) a sense of loss comes over me. Nothing that doesn’t go away after seeing the next step, but at every phase I wonder how she could possibly be any more amazing.

So here’s to the only Halloween we will have without running behind you, the only pumpkin patch where you stay clean and here’s to every other memory we will make over the years. I love you my darling. You are a beacon of light in a very dark world. You bring me more happiness than I ever thought was possible. I love you.