Friday, August 31, 2007

Holly Ascraft

Holly Ashcraft, a 22 year old suspended USC student received a reduced charge of manslaughter today after her defense attorney Mark Geragos (the man with high morals Michael Jackson, Scott Peterson’s attorney) claimed that the baby was stillborn when she placed him in the dumpster therefore it is not murder because there was no intent.

A little background…..this is the SECOND time this murderer has claimed to have a still birth. The first time the authorities where unable to find the babies body. Yes, you read that correctly.

As I have read and researched this story, my blood begins to boil. I am mortified that our society places such little importance on human life. I am not making excuses for Michael Vic and his dog fighting escapades, but he is receiving more media scrutiny than a baby killer. Not only a one time baby killer, but TWICE.

What is wrong with the world today? I am disgusted and mortified.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Go Tell Aunt Nancy

Go tell Aunt Nancy, go tell Aunt Nancy
Go tell Aunt Nancy the old gray goose is dead
It's the one she's been saving, the one she's been saving
The one she's been saving to make a feather bed

Now yes, I am well aware this is a very morbid song. But for some odd reason this is the lullaby that my grandfather used to sing to me.
As many of you know, I have always loved the stage. Especially musicals. And now every night Gia’s room morphs into my performing arena. Really more of an acoustic showing from about 9-9:30. An exclusive Unplugged performance for Miss G. I sing anything and everything from Christmas carols, the made up songs my mother used to sing to me, old southern folk tunes, Broadway musical scores and of course….Go Tell Aunt Nancy.
Last night was no different than any other. Gia was drifting to dream land and I was the fortunate party to be holding her tight. I began to sing Go Tell Aunt Nancy and suddenly my mind wandered to laying on the front room of my grandparents house and my grandpa singing me to sleep.
So many of you never met this wonderful man; including my daughter or husband. But some of you were lucky enough to have a moment at Grandparent’s day or while they were visiting Houston. My grandpa would sing just about anything and for any occasion. I really think that is where my love of song comes from. He sang so much that my dad spoke about it in depth during his eulogy. It is one of the things I remember so fondly on.
In Gia’s room last night my mind took me back. Like a black and white movie of days gone by. So vivid, so real that I really thought I was there. Back to the days when I was a blonde little girl with missing teeth. A little girl that didn’t have a care in the world and wanted nothing more than cowboy toast and a milkshake made by my grandpa. Eating watermelon on the levy. Going through Aunt Daisy and Gretch’s junk at the house on the Avenue. Eating fried chicken that I never liked. All from one song.
So as much as my husband or other moms mock my awful singing I won’t stop. One day after I am gone Gia will be brought back to that place. Me singing to her with all of my might and all of my heart. She won’t remember that it was off key or realize how horrendous the lyrics were until much later in life. And at that point it won’t matter. She will know that it was all done out of love and devotion for her. In the words of Stephen C. “I’m making memories here. I’m making memories.”

Monday, August 20, 2007


I know that many of you are on board with my crusade to raise young, thinking, smart women. Women that are aware that dressing provocatively or pining to be a Lindsay Lohan or Brittney Spears does not make a happy adult. These role models are not what I want for my little girl. Please join me in making this point to people like Richard Robinson that chose to promote through a traditionally educational format the Bratz to our young ladies and their future wives (for those of you that have dashing young boys ;)!

Tell Scholastic: Stop Selling Bratz in Schools
The Bratz, a line of highly sexualized dolls for girls as young as four are, being marketed directly to children in schools by Scholastic, Inc. Scholastic promotes Bratz through its book fairs and book clubs, selling titles such as Lil' Bratz Dancin Divas; Lil' Bratz Catwalk Cuties; and Lil' Bratz Beauty Sleepover Bash to a captive audience of young students.
The Bratz—whose wardrobes include miniskirts, fishnet stockings, and bikinis—were recently singled out the by American Psychological Association for contributing to the sexualization of young girls. Please tell Richard Robinson, President and CEO of Scholastic Inc., that commercially-driven, sexualized stereotypes have no place in schools

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Letting Go

Part of why I am so good at my job is because I can’t let go. I can’t let it go that someone doesn’t call me back. I can’t let it go if someone doesn’t buy with me and buys with someone else. I can’t let it go when someone says they are going to buy with me and then disappears off the face of the earth.

Conversely, this trait that makes successful in all that I do from a work standpoint can creep into my personal life and wreak havoc. I know there are certain things that I need to let go of. I know there are certain issues that I need to say, “Cest la vi” and move on. But I can’t. I try. Then it just eats away at me until I want to explode.

I know that I am sabotaging myself in the long run. It’s not about being right. I think that is where the miscommunication comes into play. It is about being understood. Having empathy for my outlook. My feelings. My desires. Understanding that I am aware of my faults. I recognize them. I want to make them better. But unlearning a behavior in one capacity of your life that is so vital to excelling in another is a contradiction in some ways.

The ultimate problem is when I do let go, I let go completely. My Maitron of Honor included this in her speech at my wedding. I am as loyal and honest as they come, but if I hit the wall I walk away and never turn back to see what happened. I will fight and fight until I can't even look back on that client, enemy from high school, boss that made me crazy. I will fight until I am so exhausted I would rather have nothing than find a solution. This is not a healthy behaivor either.

There are days that I yearn to not be this way. Days that I wish I could be lackadaisical and not have a care in the world. But then, I wouldn’t be me.

Where do you find the balance? The balance of grasping the person I have been my entire life. The good components of not wanting to let go and release the grip that not letting go has in a negative way? If someone has the answer, please let me know.

Monday, August 6, 2007

20 things about my love

Because of you I am strong and determined to reach my potential.
Because of you I strive to be a role model for all.
Because of you I yearn for innocence.
Because of you sitting around my backyard on a Saturday evening is a wild night that requires a camera.
Because of you I want to slow time down.
Because of you I am proud of the extra pounds I carry.
Because of you I am learning patience with your daddy.
Because of you I am closer to my own mother.
Because of you scrunching faces make me laugh so hard my side hurts.
Because of you I KNOW MTV, VH1, HBO and many, many other TV stations ROT YOUR BRAIN.
Because of you I am a nazi about food.
Because of you I am focused and diligent in my work.
Because of you I have met some of the most amazing women in the world.
Because of you I worry about things outside of my control.
Because of you I don’t sweat the small stuff.
Because of you cooking dinner and cleaning house are things that I enjoy.
Because of you a talking puppy provides hours of entertainment for us both.
Because of you we have a futon on our back patio.
Because of you I sing about anything and everything.
Because of you I truly know love.

You are the light of my life and my reason for living. I am proud to be your mom and am so blessed to be the one to watch you grow. I adore you my little tea cup. Please know there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I love you GG!